Being a caregiver to one’s parents is an experience many with cystic fibrosis (CF) never get to face. We are used to being cared for. With all our medications, nebulizer treatments, and hospitalizations growing up—and for some throughout the lifespan—having a supportive caregiver is critical. As a person with CF, I remember being told that I would only live to be 5, 10, or maybe 15 years old if I was lucky. Now, with pharmaceutical advancements, people with CF are living into their 40s and beyond.  

When my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer last year, my familial role suddenly switched from patient to caregiver. What a shock that was. Luckily, my folks are my rock. My mother was a stay-at-home mom and showed me how to be a good caregiver. As I stepped in to take over the role she had been to me for so many years, I told her she could cry and scream as much as she wanted to, but to also try and remain positive. As someone who continues to live well and age with the challenges that CF can pose, I know how healing positivity and supportive relationships can be on the pathway to wellness.  

When I first heard her say “they found a tumor,” my heart dropped. Tears streamed from my eyes, and I said, “It’s okay, you can beat this!” She had always believed that of me, so now it was my turn to tell her she could overcome this curveball thrown at her. Of course, in the back of my mind I had overwhelming anxiety, considering how many friends I have lost to cancer. As I came face-to-face with the reality of my mother’s diagnosis, I was struck by all that she has gone through as a parent to a child – and now an adult – with CF.  

We stayed up many nights before finding out what stage her cancer was and the type of treatment she would need. She did not sleep, and I did not want her awake and scared alone. We shared a few glasses of wine because why not? We talked about the “why me?” I never, ever thought I would be put into this situation; I was only supposed to live until the age of three. The assumption I had long held—that my parents were going to be healthy forever—was suddenly called into question.  

Becoming a caregiver just felt natural to me. I cannot explain it, but maybe my upbringing and having CF play a role in this. It is like I put on my caregiver cape and went with it. Having CF does not make my parents immune to cancer or any other illness, as I had hoped. I am honored that I am still alive at 51 years of age, and able to give back to my parents the love, support, and caring qualities they have given to me.  

By Missy Peterson